


The Road to Realization

by Scrapmom2112



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-06 07:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4213440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrapmom2112/pseuds/Scrapmom2112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Blaine tells Kurt he just wants to be friends, Kurt decides he needs to get over him and what better way is to find someone else. This is just the push that Blaine needs to realize his feelings, but is it too late? And what happens when Blaine hears Kurt's boyfriend planning something bad? Blaine defends Kurt but is he the one who gets in trouble? Set in S2 after BIOTA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Headmaster

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place during Season 2, when Kurt was attending Dalton. It's canon up through Blame it on the Alcohol, then goes AU after that. In this story, Kurt is boarding at Dalton and has a boyfriend whom he started dating after Blaine turned him down in Silly Love Songs and he kissed Rachel in BIOTA. It's pretty angsty but has a happy ending, as always.

Blaine sat as straight as possible in the leather chair, his right foot bouncing up and down nervously as he braced himself to answer questions he wasn't ready to answer. But when Dalton's headmaster asked, you answered whether you wanted to or not.

"I overheard him talking about taking advantage of another student, sir."

"Which student?"

"Kurt Hummel."

"Aren't they dating?"

Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Yes."

"So tell me exactly what he said to cause you to attack him like you did."

"I'm not sure I can, sir."

"Mr Anderson, if you don't want to get expelled, I suggest you explain yourself. You understand Dalton has a no bullying and absolutely no fighting policy for a reason. Everyone is supposed to feel safe here."

"I know, and that's why I did what I did. I was trying to protect Kurt."

"How does you beating up his boyfriend protect him?" Blaine sat silently, looking down at his hands that were clasped together in his lap. "Mr Anderson." The voice demanded attention, so Blaine looked up at the Headmaster.

"Sir?"

"You are a good kid, Mr Anderson, and I really need to hear what happened to cause you to attack Mr Hummel's boyfriend. I've heard others talking..." Blaine's eyes widened. He knew what people thought. And sure, he was jealous. Kurt was his best friend. Sure, said the voice in his head. Only your 'best friend.'

But that's not why he attacked Jeremy. It was more complicated than that. But he wasn't sure if he could tell the Headmaster. He didn't want to embarrass Kurt. But, if he didn't tell, Jeremy would run right back into Kurt's arms and Blaine would be expelled, leaving Kurt all alone, with no protection. No contest. He had to tell.

He took a deep breath and began. "I was at the library doing research for a paper, and I started getting a headache, so I want into the back corner and sat down where it was dark."

"Why didn't you go back to your room?"

"I really needed to finish my paper and just wanted a minute or two of the dark and quiet. I do it occasionally and it usually helps."

The headmaster nodded. "Continue."

"I was sitting there when I heard voices. I tried to ignore them, but them I heard Jeremy's voice say something about Kurt, and it peaked my curiosity."

"Why is that, Mr Anderson?"

"Well, Kurt's my best friend, and..." He mumbled something that the headmaster couldn't hear.

"Please speak up."

He sighed. "I said that I've never trusted Jeremy. Kurt's so sweet and innocent and Jeremy..." He let his sentence trail off, knowing the headmaster would understand.

"Ok, but that doesn't explain why you attacked him."

"I heard what he was planning to do to Kurt."

"What do you mean, what he was planning to do to him?" The headmaster asked.

Blaine shifted in his seat again. He knew he had to tell Mr Reins what happened, but it was so hard to talk about Kurt like that. Even though he was just repeating what he'd heard Jeremy say.

Blaine took a deep breath. "He said that after Friday, Kurt wouldn't be such a frigid bitch anymore." Blaine spit out, as of the words physically hurt him to say.

"Mr Anderson." The headmaster said, a warning tone in his voice.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm just repeating word for word what Jeremy said."

"And how do you remember exactly what he said?"

Blaine shuddered. "Because it's ingrained in my memory, sir."

Mr Reins watched as Blaine's body physically shook in anger at what Mr Bayer's had said. He had seen how close Mr Anderson and Mr Hummel had become since Mr Hummel's transfer. He also knew that both boys had deeper feeling for each other than they were willing to admit. Just because he acted like a hard-ass, didn't mean he didn't care about his students. And he knew love when he saw it.

He'd like to say he was surprised when he's heard about the fight, but he was dealing with teenage boys and hormones. What did surprise him was that Mr Anderson had done the attacking. He knew there was more to the story, and he intended to find out what.

He was starting to see things a little clearer and was hoping he was wrong, but seeing Blaine's reaction cinched it.

"Was that all you heard?"

"Isn't that enough?" Blaine said angrily.

"It's important, but I also think there was something else you are not telling me." He prompted.

Blaine sighed. "He said he got some stuff from his friend Sam to help 'loosen Kurt up.' The disdain in Blaine's voice was evident.

"Alcohol?"

"No sir." Blaine waited and let that settle in Mr Reins mind. "He said once he slipped some of it into Kurt drink, he'd..." Blaine stopped, his stomach clinching. He's started at sweat and his hands were now holding the chair under him.

"Go on."

"I - I don't think I can, sir." Blaine's voice shook and he looked on the verge of tears.

"Please, Blaine." The boy looked up because the headmaster never used first names. He saw that Mr Reins eyes had softened and he was watching him encouragingly.

Blaine sighed and cleared his throat. "He said that he'd, quote, fuck that sweet ass all night, because the ice queen wouldn't be able to fight back this time." By the time he'd finished talking, tears had began running down Blaine's face.

The sudden gasp from Mr Reins surprised Blaine. He figured it was because he'd used bad language again, but when he looked up, he knew that wasn't the reason. The headmaster had his hand clasped over his mouth and his eyes were on the moist side.

He'd known Mr Bayer's was a troublemaker, but he had no idea he was capable of that. But he also knew that Mr Anderson was not a liar.

When he regained his composure, he asked, "Did you hear anything else?"

"No sir. That was when I jumped up and attacked Jeremy, sir." Blaine unsuccessfully tried to keep his voice from shaking.

"I understand, Mr Anderson, and thank you for your honesty. Now, please go see the nurse and have her take a look at that eye."

"Yes sir." The young boy got up and moved toward the door, stopping when he reached for the knob. He turned back and opened his mouth to ask what happened now, but was interrupted by Mr Reins.

"I believe you Mr Anderson. And don't worry, I'll take care of everything." He saw Blaine's shoulder sag in relief and offered a small smile as he disappeared through the door.


	2. Consequences

When Blaine exited the Headmasters office, he was so lost in his mind that he didn't notice Kurt sitting in the waiting area. Blaine's head was throbbing and he was feeling a little nauseous, and he was planning to see the nurse as Mr Rein's suggested. All his thoughts ceased when he heard that voice.

"Blaine." He loved the sound of that voice usually, but today he could immediately tell by the tone that he didn't want to face the boy attached to it, so he put his head down and kept walking. He should have known that wouldn't deter the pissed off countertenor. The voice was closer this time, not to mention more biting. "Blaine!"

He stopped but didn't turn around. That was remedied when the younger boy grabbed his arm and spun him around. Blaine winced at the sudden movement. He'd received a few blows to his stomach and ribs during the fight, so being turned that quickly caused him to pale and catch his breath.

Unfortunately, Kurt was so mad, he didn't notice any of these reactions. He just launched into a tirade. "I can't believe you, Blaine. What the hell were you thinking? All this time I thought you cared about me and my happiness. Were you just pretending to care? I really thought we were friends. How could you do that? Attack my boyfriend like that? I told you how I felt and you rejected me, then kissed one of my best friends, and now what, you can't stand it that I moved on? I can't believe I ever thought I loved you. You are selfish, Blaine Anderson and I can't even stand to look at you anymore. And don't try contacting me again, because our friendship is over."

During Kurt's rant, Blaine just kept his head down, emotionally not able to bring himself to see the hurt and anger in former best friends eyes. Blaine knew tears were flowing from his eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Kurt believed whatever lies Jeremy told him about the fight and now he'd lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.

When Blaine didn't move, Kurt leaned over and whispered hatefully, "Now, get out of here before I finish what my boyfriend started."

"Mr Hummel!" A booming voice from the doorway called, making both boys flinch. "That will be enough." Mr Rein's had heard the tale end of the conversation and couldn't believe the vile words coming out of Mr Hummel's mouth. Mr Bayer must have told him some pretty convincing lies for him to treat his best friend like that.

Kurt had the sense to look down, a little ashamed of his behavior, but not enough to apologize. Mr Rein's addressed Blaine first this time. "Mr Anderson, weren't you headed to the nurse?"

"Y-yes sir." Came the shaky reply.

"Then go now, please." As Blaine was walking away, he heard the Headmaster address Kurt. "Mr Hummel, I understand you are upset, but I will not have you speak to another student like that. Understood?"

"Yes sir." Kurt's reply sounded clipped and filled with anger.

"Now, I know we were supposed to meet now, but something pressing has come up and we need to reschedule, so I want you to go back to your room and wait for me to contact you." Kurt turned to go, and the Headmaster reiterated, "Mr Hummel, I want you in your room, not your boyfriends."

At that, Kurt's head jerked around and gave Mr Rein's a questioning look, but nodded and turned to leave. "And Mr Hummel?" Kurt turned back toward the office door once again. "I'd better not find Mr Bayer in your room, either. Until we sort this mess out, I want you both to stay in your separate rooms. Do I make myself clear?" The last thing he needed was for Kurt to get caught in the middle of a search of the older boys room.

As Blaine made his way down the hall, he suddenly felt dizzy and sick to his stomach, so he decided to head back to his room first to lay down, then he would go see the nurse once the worst had passed. He stumbled down the hall, finally reaching his room and collapsed on the bed without another thought.

He could still hear Kurt's hurtful words in his head, even through the maddening headache, and he squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to block out the memories. Blaine fell into a fitful sleep, and that's where Wes and David found him 45 minutes later.

Wes and David had been looking for Blaine ever since he'd met with the headmaster, but couldn't find him. They'd texted him and knocked on his door, to no avail. They'd even checked the nurses office, but she said she hadn't seen him, so they went back to Blaine's room once again.

"I'll bet he's in there right now ignoring us. He probably needs some time to sort this out." David said.

"He's had time, now he needs us." Wes answered.

"I'll get Tate." David said, heading to the hall monitor's room. He returned not a moment later, followed by Tate.

"David said you are worried about Blaine." He addressed Wes.

"Yes, he was in a fight earlier," Wes started.

"I heard." Tate interrupted.

"He went to see the Headmaster about an hour ago and we haven't see or heard from him since." Wes explained.

"We've called, texted, banged on the door, and even checked with the nurse, but we can't find him." David added.

"Maybe he just wants to be left alone." The hall monitor answered.

"And maybe he is hurting and needs his friends," Wes countered.

"Fine, I'll open the door, but you two get to deal with the consequences." As soon as he unlocked the door, the two friends burst through the door. What they saw had them both gasping. Blaine was curled up on his bed in a ball, unconscious, with a trail of vomit dripping from the bed onto the floor.

Suddenly there was a flurry of movement as Wes and David ran to their friend, while Tate whipped out his phone, dialing 911. Wes grabbed a towel from the back of Blaine's desk chair, while David touched Blaine's shoulder gently, trying to wake up the boy. Wes wiped the vomit off Blaine's mouth and helped David move him to the other side of the bed.

Blaine moaned when they moved him and clutched his stomach. "Blaine, hey, can you hear me?" Wes asked.

"Hurts..." was the reply.

Tate appeared by the bed then. "The ambulance is on the way. Is he awake?"

"Blaine," Wes tried again, putting his hand on the not bruised side of his friends face. "Oh God, he's burning up."

"I'm going down to meet the paramedics and bring them here." Tate said to the two boys trying to comfort their friend.

The next hour was a frenzy of action. The ambulance took Blaine away, while Wes and David followed. Because it his injuries were life threatening, they whisked him away to surgery even before his parents had been contacted. Once they had been contacted, it was learned they were overseas on business and would not be able to get home in a timely manner. They asked Wes to call them with any updates.

The two Dalton boys sat in the waiting room in silence. One of their best friends was in there having surgery, and his parents couldn't bring themselves to care. Neither talked about it, but both were thinking that they were his family and had been for the last two years.

Because Wes was 18, Blaine's parents had given him the power to make any medical decisions in their absence, so the doctors and nurses were informed to go to the senior with any questions and updates. The boys were informed that the surgery could take a couple of hours, depending on the severity of the injury and the amount of internal bleeding.

After calling his parents, Wes had informed the Headmaster, who was busy with other business when the ambulance arrived. He thanked Wes for calling and told him to keep him updated as well.

David suggested calling Kurt, but they decided against it, seeing as how it was his boyfriend's fault Blaine was here. So, the two boys sat together, waiting and worrying, with only each other to lean on.


	3. Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully Kurt's actions didn't seem to OOC in the last couple of chapters. I tried to explain his reasoning in this part. He's always been one to strike first and ask questions later, so I hope I did him justice.

After Kurt was dismissed by the Headmaster, he sat in his room and waited. He hated waiting. He'd tried to text Jeremy, but hadn't received a reply, so he decided to watch a movie. He picked his favorite, 'The Sound of Music' and sat down to watch it.

Probably not a good choice, he realized after about five minutes, as this was the movie that he and Blaine watched together the most next to Harry Potter. Jeremy hated musicals, so he insisted they watch them every time he and Blaine had a movie night. Of course, since he'd started dating Jeremy, those movies nights had become non existent.

He knew it was his fault, too. Jeremy didn't like him spending time with Blaine, so since the two had started dating, he and Blaine had only been able to text occasionally, and once or twice had been able to squeeze in coffee after Warblers practice.

He really missed spending time with Blaine, but knew that it was for the best. After he told Blaine how he felt on Valentine's Day, things hadn't changed. He'd basically told Kurt he just wanted to be friends, and that was fine. Until Rachel Berry came along. When Blaine went out with her and began to question his sexuality, Kurt realized he needed to move on.

Part of him knew it wasn't going to be possible to move on, because he was completely head over heels in love with Blaine. But Blaine had made it so clear that he wasn't interested, Kurt knew his only option was to find someone else. Jeremy was cute, and reminded Kurt of a taller, cuter version of Sam. Of course, Jeremy didn't dye his hair, Kurt thought, laughing.

When they first started dating, Jeremy was sweet and kind, but had Kurt started feeling a little uncomfortable lately. Jeremy was trying to push him to do more than kissing, and Kurt was not comfortable with that at all. The kissing was fine, but once he felt Jeremy's hands move, he pushed him away.

He knew his boyfriend was getting more and more frustrated, but he kept insisting that he'd wait until Kurt was ready. Unfortunately, Kurt knew he would never be ready. At least not with Jeremy. His dad had been right. He wanted to give himself to someone he loved, and he knew he didn't love Jeremy. Hell, who was he kidding, he would never love Jeremy, because he was still in love with Blaine.

That's why he had been so mean to him outside Mr Rein's office. He needed to keep his distance from Blaine because he knew that he had to get over him. Jeremy told him what happened when Blaine attacked him, and he wanted to believe his boyfriend, but he was having a hard time. Jeremy told him that Blaine called him girly and said he didn't understand how anyone who was truly gay would want to be with someone so feminine.

He knew Blaine, and didn't want to believe he'd said those things, but Jeremy's friends who were there confirmed his story. He said after Blaine said those nasty things, he and his friends jumped Blaine, because he had to defend Kurt's honor. Now, deep down, he knew Blaine would never say those things, but Jeremy was his boyfriend now and he had to stand by him.

He ended up having to turn off the 'Sound of Music' because he couldn't get thoughts of Blaine out of his head. He had been so cruel to him and now was feeling incredibly guilty about it. He shouldn't have attacked Blaine like that, but what else was he supposed to do? Especially if he'd let the anger go for half a second, he would have grabbed Blaine and hugged him for all he was worth. He'd heard Mr Rein's tell Blaine to go to the nurse, but Kurt didn't allow himself a moment to wonder what was wrong, letting his anger tell him he deserved what he got.

He heard a commotion outside and went to the window to see what was happening. He noticed two police cars, which was so out of the ordinary for Dalton, but from the angle, Kurt couldn't see who the police had inside the cars. He watched the scene until the police pulled away, and he texted Jeremy again to see if he knew what was going on. He'd texted and called him a lot over the course of the last hour, but had received no response.

Kurt sat down and pulled out his English assignment and began typing his paper that was due Monday while he waited to hear back from Jeremy. Fifteen minutes later he was being summoned back to Mr Rein's office. By this time, Kurt was furious again. The Headmaster had made it clear that he wasn't to see his boyfriend, who was currently ignoring him, and he didn't understand why. All his earlier anger came back as he entered the Headmaster's office and sat down across from him, giving him the Kurt Hummel glare.

"So, Mr Hummel, I see that you are still upset." Mr Rein's began. Kurt remained silent, so he continued. "I figured as much, but you should check that anger, because after what I am about to tell you, you'll wish you could take back everything you've said or thought all day."

Kurt was confused by the Headmaster's words, but still remained silent, waiting for an explanation. "I've spoken to both Mr Bayer and Mr Anderson about what happened, and I would like to know what you heard about what happened."

"Jeremy told me that Blaine made a comment about me and he just defended my honor, sir." Kurt said evasively.

"Did you talk to Mr Anderson about this?"

"No," he said, looking down at his hands.

"And why not? I thought you and Mr Anderson were good friends." He questioned.

"So did I." Kurt responded angrily.

"So you just took Mr Bayer's word?"

"Yes, he is my boyfriend after all." Mr Rein's started to speak again, but Kurt continued before he could. "Mitch and Brad were there too, and they said the same thing as Jeremy."

"And what was that?" Kurt looked up, wide eyed. He didn't want to tell Mr Rein's what Blaine had said. It still hurt him to think about. But Mr Rein's was persistent. "Look Mr Hummel, I need to know what they told you. It's important."

Kurt sighed and started messing with the hem on his blazer. "They said that Blaine called me girly and couldn't understand how a real gay man could be attracted to someone so femininely gay." He expected to see sympathy in Mr Rein's eyes when he looked up, but instead he saw disbelief and a hint of anger.

"Mr Hummel, you are a smart boy, but right now I'm having a hard time understanding you." Kurt was surprised by the tone in the Headmaster's voice. "Just because I am the Headmaster, doesn't mean that I don't take an interest in my students, and I know that when you came here Mr Anderson was like a mentor to you. I've seen the two of you together and know you are good friends. I also know that Mr Anderson cares about you and is a very well mannered, polite and loyal boy. What you are saying he said just doesn't seem very likely."

Kurt looked down again, ashamed. He did feel guilty about not asking Blaine what happened, but Jeremy used the sympathy card and asked how he could not believe him when he was the one with a black eye and split lip. He didn't even think to ask how Blaine was. God, he was a terrible friend.

As Kurt was processing everything, the Headmaster made a decision that was very unorthodox for him, but knew it was the right thing to do. He opened his laptop and scanned through the files until he came to the one he was looking for.

"Mr Hummel, I like you and I know you had a pretty rough time before you came here, and I'm really sorry that for the situation now, but you really need to understand exactly what happened. Which is why I am going against all protocol here and breaking every one of my own rules to show you this. But I think after everything, you need to see this."

He turned the laptop around, revealing a screen shot of his office, with him sitting behind his desk, and none other than Blaine Anderson sitting across from him. Then he pushed play.

Kurt sat forward in his seat to get a better look and to be able to make out the voices. He could understand the Headmaster, but Blaine's voice was so quiet and broken he had to strain to hear. Kurt froze when he heard Blaine explain how Jeremy, his boyfriend, was planning to drug him and...

Oh my God.

Suddenly Kurt sprang up from his seat with his hand covering his mouth. Mr Rein's pointed toward a closed door and watched as Kurt threw the door open and began to vomit uncontrollably. Mr Rein's waited as the young boy washed his mouth out and splashed water on his face before returning to his seat, eye's downcast.

"I'm assuming you saw the police cars here earlier?" Kurt only nodded, tears running down his face, but still not looking up. "That was Mr Bayer being taken into custody. We searched his room and found Rohypnol in his possession, so he was arrested, since he is over the legal age. And after what Mr Anderson said..."

Kurt began sobbing then. "Oh God, I'm so stupid. How could I have believed Blaine said all those things? I'm such an idiot. What have I done? I ruined the best friendship I've ever had over some stupid boy that I didn't even like. I was just trying to move on and...oh God. What am I going to do? I need to talk to Blaine. I need to explain, tell him how sorry I am. What if he won't forgive me?" He put his head in his hands at some point during his rant, so the last few sentences came out muffled, but Mr Rein's understood.

His heart was aching for these two boys. It was hard enough being gay in the world today, let alone a gay teenager. Hormones rule your life at this age, and emotions run wild. And now, because of some stupid misunderstandings and even more stupid mistakes, two boys hearts were broken.

Kurt jumped up quickly, startling Mr Rein's out of his thoughts. "May I go, Headmaster? I really need to find Blaine and talk to him." He was already heading to the door as he asked, but was stopped by the older man.

"You won't find him in the dorms." Kurt turned around and gave him a questioning look. "One of the blows Mr Anderson received during the altercation resulted in internal bleeding. He's at the hospital in surgery as we speak." Kurt's legs gave out then and he crumpled to the floor. Not only had he been an idiot and believed his now ex-boyfriend, he had yelled at his best friend and told him their friendship was over. And now, he was in the hospital, in surgery, thinking Kurt hated him. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Blaine. What if he didn't wake up? He could die never knowing how much he loved him.

Mr Rein's was around the desk and kneeling on the floor in record time. He pulled Mr Hummel to his chest and let him cry while he rocked him back and forth. He knew the boys had feeling for one another, but seeing how broken up the two were and how fiercely they tried to protect each other, he understood how serious their feelings really were. These two boys were in love beyond their years, which is probably why they messed up so badly with each other. The depth of their feelings go way beyond their age, and learning to deal with intense feelings for one another must have been too hard for them to handle, causing this horrible situation.

The two sat on the floor together, administrator and student, comforting each other for several minutes. Once the younger boy quieted a little, Mr Rein's pulled back and stood up, holding his hand out. Kurt was avoiding eye contact, embarrassed that the Headmaster had seen him so vulnerable, but the older man was having none of that.

He put his hand on Kurt's shoulder, guiding him toward the door, and said, "Come on Mr Hummel. I'll drive you to the hospital." Kurt looked up finally, a grateful look in his eyes as Mr Rein's led him out of the building and into his car.


	4. The Aftermath

Kurt tried to make himself somewhat presentable on the way to the hospital, but every time he thought about how awful he'd been another tear would spill over. He had no idea why he was going to the hospital. Blaine probably hated him now and didn't wouldn't want to see him, and Kurt wouldn't blame him. He'd said some terrible, hurtful things to Blaine and now he felt like scum.

How could he have thought that his best friend, the guy to drove to McKinley only days after meeting him to confront his bully, would have said those things about him. He literally hated himself for believing his ex-boyfriend. What an idiot. How could he have taken Jeremy's side? He didn't even care about him. He was just trying so hard to get over his feelings for Blaine that he'd have believed just about anything.

Kurt shivered as he thought about what could have happened if Blaine hadn't overheard Jeremy. Mr Rein's glanced over then and turned up the heat in the car. He'd been quiet until now, but as they pulled into the hospital, he spoke.

"Mr Hummel, I know you and Mr Anderson had some pretty heated words and I can tell you are beating yourself up over what you said, but right now, you need to go in there and just be there for him. I'm sure he's hurting over your last..." he started to say conversation, but changed his mind, "exchange, and once he's out of the woods, you two can deal with that. But what is most important now is just being there to support him. Believe me, he'll be happy you are here."

With that, Mr Rein's exited the car and turned toward the visitors entrance of the hospital, stopping to wait for Kurt to follow. Once inside, they were directed to the third floor, surgery wing waiting area, where they found David and Wes.

The two friends had been sitting close, not talking but trying to pull strength from each other, when Wes looked up and saw Kurt and the headmaster heading their way. He nudged David, who looked up as well. Neither boy spoke for a moment, just taking in Kurt's appearance.

Kurt felt the intensity of the two boys gazes and immediately dropped his chin to his chest and stopped walking. Mr Rein's didn't notice and continued forward. "Mr Montgomery, how is he?" He said, putting his hand out to shake the younger boys.

Wes stood up and took the offered hand. "Mr Rein's, sir, um, we don't know. He's still in surgery." His voice shook and it was evident to everyone that he'd been crying.

David stood up as well and offered his hand. "Sir." The headmaster shook it before addressing Wes again.

"How long has he been in there? Have they given you any updates?" His voice took on an authoritative tone.

"It's only been a couple of hours, and they told us they probably wouldn't be able to give us progress reports because they hoped the surgery would be fairly short, depending on what they found."

The reality of the situation hit Kurt like a freight train and he clapped his hand over his mouth and ran for the nearest bathroom. Mr Rein's saw movement and out of the corner of his eye caught Mr Hummel running down the hall. He turned back to the boys in front of him.

"Mr Hummel is not dealing with this very well."

David let out a snort and Wes turned to glare at him. "Is he..."

"Yes, he's been getting physically sick when discussing Mr Anderson's injuries." He said. "Poor kid." He muttered under his breath. Wes caught it and gave a small smile.

"It's not surprising." David said.

"Yeah well," Wes continued. "He loves him."

"They've both been so stupid." David chimed in.

All three were nodding their heads in agreement when Kurt reappeared, paler than ever. He hesitated for a moment, then threw himself into Wes's arms. David came up behind and the sandwiched the younger boy in a hug, while Kurt sobbed into Wes's shoulder.

Mr Rein's stood back and watched as the two older boys comforted their friend, and he'd never felt more proud of his students. Not wanting to interrupt, he turned and disappeared down the hall in search of a coffee machine. He figured they could all use a little pick me up.

When Kurt began to calm down, Wes and David led him over to a small sofa, all three squeezing in together, needing the closeness. Once they sat down, Kurt looked at Wes guiltily.

"This is all my fault. Oh God, I am so sorry." He began to sob again.

Wes stopped his rant. "Hey, this is NOT your fault. That asshole Jeremy did this, not you. You couldn't have known."

"But...he probably hates me now. I was so mean and hurtful. God, I'm so stupid." Tears were streaming down Kurt's face and he made no move to stop them.

"Blaine could never hate you." Wes said reassuringly.

"Yeah," David added. "He's been awful jealous and has missed spending time with you, but he doesn't hate you."

"You don't understand." He sobbed. "The things I said..."

Wes made Kurt look at him. "What do you mean? Did you talk to Blaine?" Kurt nodded and looked down, embarrassed.

David was having none of that and forced Kurt around to look at him. "When did you talk to him? Could you tell he was hurt? Why didn't you help him? Didn't you see his eye or his cheek?"

"I...I..."

"David." Wes's voice held a warning. "Go ahead Kurt. Tell us what happened."

"I...I never meant it, you have to believe me. I didn't mean it. I was just so mad and Jeremy lied to me and told me Blaine said some terrible things and..." The words were pouring out of his mouth fast that Wes and David were having trouble understanding. "I told him to leave me alone and that we were no longer friends and that I never, oh God, that I never wanted to see him again." He put his face in his hands and sobbed. "It's my fault and now, oh God, he's hurt and might not..." After a moment, through the tears and hysteria, he mumbled into his hands, "And he might die never knowing how much I love him."

Wes pulled Kurt to him encircling him in his arms again and David held onto his back. Both Wes and David knew Blaine was in love with Kurt and assumed Kurt felt the same, but hearing him say it out loud made them both happy and sad.

The three were still there crying when Mr Reins returned from getting coffee. He was pleased to see the boys still supporting Kurt. They could have easily been upset with him, but he knew they could see how bad Kurt was hurting.

He cleared his throat and the boys sat moved back a little, but still sitting close enough for the comfort they all needed. Mr Rein's said nothing at first, just sat the four coffees on the table in front of them. Wes looked up and thanked him, still keeping an arm around Kurt. Finally, the headmaster spoke.

"Mr Montgomery, thank you for handling everything. I'm not sure what happened after Mr Anderson left my office, but I instructed him to go to the nurse, although he gave no indication his injuries were this bad. I thought it was just his face that needed stitching up."

"None of us knew, sir." Wes replied, rubbing Kurt's back in assurance.

As he was about to reply, the doors opened behind him and Wes shot up out of his seat, startling everyone. The doctor approached them with a hesitant smile.

"Mr Anderson is a very lucky man. One of the punches he received perforated his spleen and he was slowly bleeding into his stomach. If you two wouldn't have found him when you did, he'd have bled to death in a few hours." There was an audible sob from behind Wes, and David pulled Kurt closer, trying to soothe the younger boy. "Luckily, we were able to find the problem and fix it and your friend will make a full recovery. He'll be staying with us for the next two days, then will have two weeks of recovery time, but after that, he'll have no restriction. Will his parents be arriving soon?" He questioned, looking from Wes to the headmaster and back.

"I'm not sure, sir." Wes answered. "I'll contact them with the news and will let you know." He sighed, then quietly added, "But I wouldn't count on it."

The doctor nodded and shook Wes's hand before turning to Mr Rein's and doing the same. He nodded to the two boys still on the couch and turned to leave.

"Excuse me." Came a quiet voice from the couch. Everyone turned to look at Kurt, waiting. "W-when can we see him?"

"Well, the policy is family only, but I'll make an exception in this case. Unfortunately, because it's so late, we cannot allow anyone in until tomorrow. He'll be under for the night anyway."

"Sir, I'd like to stay with him, if that's alright? Since I am his legal guardian." Wes requested.

"Certainly." The doctor responded. "He's still in recovery, but should be moved shortly. I'll have the nurses set you up a cot, and have one of them come get you when you can go back."

"Thank you sir. For everything." Wes's eyes were moist when he shook the doctor's hand once again.

It took a lot of convincing for David and Mr Rein's to get Kurt to leave, but they finally managed. David left the car for Wes, riding back to campus with Kurt and the Headmaster.

When they were dropped off, David offered to let Kurt sleep in Wes's bed, knowing he needed support, but Kurt declined. What he really wanted was to be by himself. He wandered the halls for a while, passing his room and somehow ended up in front of Blaine's door. He turned the knob and the door opened. He figured in the confusion earlier nobody thought to lock it.

When he walked in and saw Blaine's bed and the mess, he fell to his knees, sobbing. He put his arms around himself and rocked back and forth, the pain of coming so close to losing Blaine catching up to him full force.

He allowed himself a good fifteen minutes of pity before pulling himself up off the floor and setting to work. He stripped Blaine's bed and bagged his sheets before silently making his way to the laundry room. It was just after curfew, but he knew even if he got caught he wouldn't get in trouble.

Once back in the room, he set to task, cleaning the remainder of the vomit off the floor and bed before putting on a clean sheet set. He then sprayed an air freshener before heading back to the laundry room to switch the sheets over to the dryer.

He returned to the room to wait the 30 minutes it would take for the sheets to dry. He was exhausted, but didn't want to sit down, knowing he'd forget the laundry, so he moved to Blaine's desk to organize the papers strewn all over. Blaine was a very neat person, but when he was working on a particularly stressful assignment, he became a slob.

So Kurt spent the next few minutes going through Blaine's papers, obviously notes for an English assignment, trying to put them in some sort of order. It was underneath his English book that he saw a paper with his name on it. He was surprised, and a bit curious. All the other papers laying around were scribbles about poets and playwrights, mainly Shakespeare, whom it looked like Blaine's paper was mainly about.

This one was different. He could only see the top part from where it was sticking out, but it appeared to be a letter...written to him. He froze and his heart started beating faster. Why did Blaine write him a letter? When did he write it? Should he read it? All these thoughts were floating around in Kurt's head and he began to get a little dizzy, so he sat down in the desk chair and just stared at the corner of the paper.

The writing was not as frantic as the writing on his notes, but it wasn't in Blaine's normal perfect penmanship either. It seemed a little shaky. Oh God, what if he wrote it after Kurt yelled at him. Kurt didn't even notice the tears that had started again. It was only after the writing he was staring at became blurry that he wiped his eyes. He needed to see what was on that paper. His shoulders were tense and his hand shaky as he slid the paper out from under the book. He glanced at the words through tear filled eyes, nothing coming into focus.

He sat in the chair holding the letter but not reading it. The paper shook as he tried to focus on the words, but he eventually gave up and rested his hand, still holding the letter, on his leg. He leaned his head back and took a deep breath. That's when he noticed Blaine's sweatshirt. It was behind his back, hanging on the chair and his head was leaning on it as he tried to control his emotions. He turned his head slightly so that his nose was next to the fabric, and he took a deep breath in.

A sob escaped him when he breathed in Blaine's scent. His head automatically turned further, burying his entire face in the sweatshirt as he cried. How could he have been so stupid. The only reason he was even dating Jeremy was to get over Blaine, but he knew now that would never possible. He probably knew it then, but wasn't ready to admit it to himself yet. Blaine meant everything to him and when he rejected him after Valentine's Day, Kurt was hurt and just wanted to forget everything Blaine made him feel.

They went back to being friends, and Kurt even made an effort to not act different with Blaine, but after he went through his sexuality issues with Rachel, Kurt couldn't take it anymore. He slowly began distancing himself from Blaine. He tried to make sure it wasn't obvious, but as much time as the two boys normally spent together, it was inevitable that Blaine would notice.

Unfortunately, Blaine was not the only one that noticed. It was right after their fight in the coffee shop about Blaine's identity crisis that Jeremy started flirting with Kurt. And of course, he loved the attention, even though he wished it had been Blaine. So when Jeremy asked Kurt out, he accepted right away. He needed to distance himself from Blaine and Jeremy was a good distraction. He had hoped to make Blaine jealous in the process, but Blaine acted exactly the same around him, which hurt.

He had been so stupid, though to believe Jeremy. He didn't have any real feelings for Jeremy but did like the attention. What he didn't like was how recently Jeremy was trying to move their physical relationship along too much. Kurt felt very uncomfortable with any form of touching or caressing.

The only person he felt comfortable even hugging or touching him was Blaine, and that had surprised him. From the moment they met and Blaine took his hand, leading him down the hall to the Warblers performance, he knew. His body welcomed Blaine's touch. It just felt so natural, even if it was a casual touch, it felt like home.

But whenever Jeremy touched him, he flinched. Sure, he'd let Jeremy kiss him, but always with closed lips. The first time he'd kissed him, he'd had a flashback of Kurofsky. Jeremy had grabbed his cheeks just like Kurofsky had and he froze. Jeremy wasn't as forceful, so he allowed himself to relax a little, but still wouldn't open his mouth.

Jeremy had tried to get Kurt to be more physical lately, pinning him to the couch while they were trying to watch a movie, and trying to kiss his neck and give him a hickey. The thought of anyone doing that to him made him want to throw up, so he'd always push Jeremy off. He could see how frustrated Jeremy had been with him, and honestly he'd thought about breaking it off with him because of how uncomfortable he'd been lately.

But after he'd shown up at Kurt's door with a black eye and busted lip telling him that Blaine had done it, Kurt was enraged. How could Blaine do that? He felt sorry for Jeremy and was touched when he said he was sticking up for Kurt. There was a part of Kurt deep down that knew Jeremy wasn't being truthful, but he wanted to believe him so bad. It felt nice having someone interested in him that he was willing to believe anything.

And look where it got him. His best friend and the boy he loved more than anything in the world almost died because he was defending Kurt against his so called boyfriend. And Kurt told him he never wanted to see him again. Oh God, how had things gotten so screwed up? And now, he had this letter in his hand that he knew he needed to read, but was too scared. What if Blaine told him he never really cared about him and was glad they weren't going to be friends anymore? Kurt knew he would never survive that.

Needing a distraction, he got up from the chair quickly and tossed the note onto the bed and turned toward the door, intent on going to retrieve the sheets from the laundry room. He paused a moment, then reached his arm behind him, grabbing the sweatshirt off the back of the chair and pulled it over his head. He closed his eyes for a moment and put his arms around himself, trying to imagine Blaine's arms instead. He took another deep breath, to breathe Blaine in, and made his way downstairs quietly.

When he returned to the room, he felt calmer, the walk doing him some good. Of course, it could also be that he was wrapped up nice and warm in Blaine's favorite sweatshirt and surrounded by his manly scent.

After putting the clean sheets away in Blaine's closet, he turned back toward the bed, and the note that awaited him there. He took a few hesitant steps, picked up the note and sat down on the bed to read it.

Kurt,

First I want to say how truly sorry I am. I really screwed up. I shouldn't have attacked Jeremy like I did. I should have known that you'd believe him. He is your boyfriend after all.

And it's ok, I understand. I've been awful to you and I hurt you too many times. It's sad to say, but honestly, it wasn't until you started dating Jeremy that I realized how I truly felt, and by then I knew I'd lost the best thing I could have ever had. I was just too naive and stupid to see it then.

I'm just so sorry. I knew you'd be upset, but hearing you say our friendship was over killed me. I honestly think I'll die if I can't be a part of your life somehow. Even just as friends. I love you so much Kurt, and I'm so fucking sorry that it took me this long to figure it out.

And now I've lost you. Even just writing that down makes my heart hurt. I really hope that you can forgive me. I'm not sure what Jeremy told you to make you hate me so much, but I promise you that I was only defending you. He must have said something really awful, though for you to threaten to finish the job. Believe me, I know not to mess with an angry Kurt Hummel.

Seriously, Kurt, I don't know what I can do to repair our screwed up friendship, but I hope that one day you can forgive me and will let me be a part of your life again. You are a part of me, Kurt. I know we've only know each other for a few months, but to me, it feels like you've always been there. And now you're gone and my heart literally hurts.

Please believe me when I say that I am sorry and that I really do love you.

Now and forever.

Blaine


	5. The First Step

David found Kurt the next morning curled up at the end of Blaine's bed, wearing Blaine's sweatshirt and clutching a paper in his hands, dried tear tracks still evident on his face. David's heart broke at the sight.

He and Wes had watched everything unfold between the two since the beginning and had been silently rooting them on, but unfortunately Blaine was a little slow on the uptake. It took Kurt getting a boyfriend for Blaine to realize his true feelings for Kurt, and being the upstanding guy he is, instead of telling Kurt and coming between him and his boyfriend, he just watched from afar, quietly in pain.

Wes and David had tried on many occasions to get Blaine to talk to Kurt. They could see that Kurt still had feelings for Blaine and it was clear he was trying to distance himself from Blaine, because of his new boyfriend. Everyone knew Jeremy was bad news, but he turned on the charm for Kurt and unfortunately for everyone, Kurt bought it.

David could see how much Kurt's distance was hurting Blaine, but to his credit, he was able to act like everything was normal around Kurt. But behind closed doors with his two best buds, he let it all out and it was not pretty.

When David heard about the fight he wasn't at all surprised. All of Blaine's frustration was slowly building and he figured Jeremy would be at the receiving end of it at some point. He and Wes were floored when Blaine explained to them what he'd overheard, causing him to attack Jeremy. They knew he wasn't good for Kurt, but what he planned to do to him was unthinkable.

They'd only gotten to talk to Blaine for a few moment before he'd been called down to the Headmasters office, so they had no idea how severe his injuries were. Sure, his face was pretty messed up, but they had no inkling that he could have any internal injuries. David was so glad they'd listened to their instincts that told them something was wrong.

Standing there in Blaine's room, David looked away from Kurt for a moment, noticing that the room was clean. They'd left everything last night as it was, not wanting to leave Blaine. Kurt must have come back to the room to feel close to Blaine and cleaned up.

David felt a tug in his chest. Kurt was punishing himself for his conversation with Blaine yesterday. He had no idea what was said, but knowing Kurt's bite, it wasn't pretty. Especially if Jeremy had told him lies to make Blaine look bad. It saddened him that he hadn't gone to Blaine and talked to him, but when Kurt was mad about something, he struck first and asked questions later.

Seeing him break down last night at the hospital had shaken David to the core. Wes was the more rational of the two, whereas David was emotional, and watching as one of his best friends blamed himself for his other best friend almost dying was hard to swallow.

He'd tried to get Kurt to stay with him last night, afraid to leave him alone, but he'd broken in the end, letting Kurt go. Now seeing him curled up, obviously in emotional pain, was killing David.

He sat down gently next to Kurt and spoke in a quiet voice. "Kurt. Hey Kurt. Come on, it's time to get up." He nudged his shoulder softly.

Kurt moaned and moved a little, trying to get his bearings. Suddenly he shot up, scaring David who jumped back giving Kurt room. Kurt looked at David in surprise before his face fell and fresh tears started forming in his eyes.

"Tell me it was all a nightmare." He said, his voice gravely from excessive crying, his eyes begging.

"Kurt..."

"No, no, no." Kurt began chanting, putting his head in his hands. It was then he realized there was something in his hand. He looked at it questionably at first, then recognition hit and David watched as he seemed to crumble.

David reached out and pulled his friend to his chest, muffling his sobs. Kurt was babbling into David's chest and all he could do was just hold on and let him get it all out, so he waited.

It took about ten minutes before Kurt was coherent enough to speak again. He pulled back from David's embrace and looked guiltily at him. "Thanks," He said quietly.

"Think you are ready to head to the hospital now?" David asked. "Wes texted me and said visiting hours start at nine."

Kurt backed up, putting some space in between them and seemingly folded in on himself. "I-I don't know if I should go. I-I mean, after what I said, he...he probably doesn't want to see me."

"Kurt, I'm don't know everything that went on between you two yesterday, but I know that you are Blaine's best friend, well, next to me and Wes, and I know that it would mean a lot to him if you were there." He paused for a moment, not sure if he should go on, but decided to be honest. "Look, having one of your best friends almost die puts things into perspective, ok? I can guarantee that the only person Blaine is going to want to see when he wakes up is you, so get your ass up so we can get to the hospital."

Kurt stared at David with wide eyes before nodding and heading into the bathroom to make himself presentable. He folded the note up and slid it into his back pocket. Not bothering to change his clothes or to take off Blaine's sweatshirt, he brushed his teeth with the extra toothbrush Blaine keeps in his bathroom for Kurt, and ran his fingers through his hair quickly.

He emerged less than five minutes later and David looked surprised, but didn't say anything, just leading him out into the parking lot. Neither spoke on the way to the hospital, David worried that he'd overstepped and Kurt just a bundle of nerves, wondering what he was going to say to Blaine.

After cleaning Blaine's room last night, Kurt thought he'd cried himself out. Until he found the note. He couldn't believe what he had read. Blaine. Loved. Him. Actually loved him. That's really all he wanted and now everything was so screwed up. It broke Kurt's heart to read Blaine's apology. He had absolutely nothing to be sorry for. He couldn't believe after everything he'd said and done, that Blaine still loved him and wanted him in his life. Of course, that was before he almost died. Oh God.

Kurt's inner ramblings were cut short when they arrived at the hospital. While David looked for a place to park, Kurt closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, trying not to panic. David must have sensed Kurt's distress and turned toward Kurt after parking. "Hey, everything is going to work out. Right now let's just focus on the fact that he's alive, ok?"

Kurt nodded and both boys exited the car and made their way into the building. Blaine was still in the ICU and visitors were limited, but because Blaine's family wan't present, they allowed the two boys in. As they approached the door Kurt stopped abruptly, causing David to turn and look at him questioningly.

"I-I don't think I can..." Kurt began, but was cut off by voices coming from the other side of the door. It was Blaine's voice. One he wasn't sure he'd ever hear again, and it was beautiful. Kurt's eyes filled up with fresh tears and he let out a breath, his shoulders slumping in relief. He was alive.

David realized what was happening with Kurt and he stood still for a moment, hand suspended on the door knob, waiting. Once he was sure Kurt had himself a little more under control he nodded and pushed the door open. The talking immediately stopped, both occupants in the room looking toward the now open door.

Wes sat beside the bed on the opposite side of the room on what appeared to be a make shift bed that he'd slept on the previous night, but it was the patient that drew all the attention.

Blaine's looked up surprised when the door opened and his eyes widened when he saw who the visitors were. His gaze skirted past David and locked on Kurt, and it was as if all the air in the room was gone. He suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe, his heart rate monitor speeding up, the sound evident to everyone in the room.

Kurt's head was down, refusing to look up and meet Blaine's gaze, but he could feel the weight of it, pushing him down, knocking the air from his lungs. He, like the other boys, heard Blaine's heart rate increase and he started shaking, knowing he was the cause. His vision began swimming and he knew if he didn't get out of there quickly he was either going to pass out or throw up and neither option seemed reasonable, so he chose to run.

He made it as far as the next hallway before he collapsed onto the floor, back against the wall, knees pulled up, gasping for breath. Back inside the room, he didn't see the look of utter defeat on Blaine's face, nor see the tears that had been threatening to fall finally make their way down his bruised and battered face.

David turned to follow Kurt, but Wes stopped him. "Wait." David looked to Blaine who seemed to be struggling to hold himself together, then to Wes. "Blaine told me what happened yesterday with Kurt." David wanted to ask, but held back, knowing Wes wasn't finished. "You stay here. I'll go talk to Kurt." He then turned to Blaine and spoke directly to him. "The fact that he came says something, ok? I'll talk to him, bring him back. You two need to talk this through."

Blaine didn't speak, but his breathing seemed to regulate and his heart rate slowed down just as the nurse came in to check on him. "Honey, are you alright? What's got your heart rate up so much, huh?" She turned to the two boys still in the room with a pointed look. "He needs to stay calm or I'm going to have to ask you two to leave."

"We're sorry ma'am." Wes said to the nurse. "We'll try to keep him calm."

"Yeah," Blaine said shakily. "Sorry. It wasn't their fault. I'm just still a little worked up about what happened." He said in explanation. The nurse seemed ok with this answer and exited the room a moment later after reassuring Blaine everything was fine and she wasn't going to kick the boys out.

Wes followed her out in search of Kurt. He was guessing Kurt wouldn't leave the hospital, especially knowing Blaine was still there, but wasn't sure where to look, so he started toward the waiting area. He didn't have to go far. Once he turned the corner, he saw a sight that almost took his breath away. Kurt was leaning against the wall curled up, as if to make himself invisible, shoulders shaking in silent sobs.

Wes made his way over and slid down the wall next to Kurt, putting his arm around his friend in comfort. Kurt didn't move, just sat and continued to cry, not even acknowledging that Wes was there. They sat like that for a few moments, Wes allowing Kurt to get a rein on his emotions.

"He's glad you came." He said finally.

The sob mixed with a laugh nearly tore Wes's heart apart. "Yeah, his almost panic attack at seeing me proved that." Came the bitter reply.

"He was just surprised, Kurt. He was convinced you wouldn't come, even after I told him you'd been here last night." Kurt's head shot up at this and he looked at Wes.

"Y-you told him I was here?"

"Of course. He was asking for you, even before he was fully awake." The look of shock on Kurt's face bothered Wes. "Look Kurt, I know things between you are a bit messy right now, but that doesn't change the fact that you're his best friend. He needs you. And I think you might need him too."

The tears he thought he'd had a handle on started to fall yet again at those words. "A-after what I said, I'm sure he doesn't want to see me." He said pitifully.

"He does, more than anything."

"But, I was so awful to him, and I was so stupid for believing Jeremy." He hid his face in his knees again in embarrassment. "I knew Blaine would never have said those things about me, but I wanted so much to believe Jeremy. I just wanted someone to love me." Kurt wrapped his arms around his knees again and continued to cry into his knees.

"Oh Kurt." Wes said, rubbing his back. "Blaine lo...you really need to talk to Blaine."

"Is it true?"

Wes looked at Kurt questioningly. "Is what true?"

"What you were going to say. Does he really love me?" Wes cocked his head, asking without words. "He wrote me a note. Said he, um, loved me, and had for a while. Said he was pretending to be nice to Jeremy for my sake. Is that true?"

"Kurt, you really need to ask Blaine." Wes knew the answer, but also wanted the two boys to figure things out together.

"But I'm asking you Wes." Kurt looked up then, turning his body to face Wes. "Did he really sit back and watched as I dated that asshole?" His voice held a little anger now, which surprised Wes, and he realized he needed to explain things before he sent Kurt in to talk to Blaine, because Blaine wouldn't be able to handle the anger.

"Listen, you have no right to be angry at Blaine. Yes, ok, he has feelings for you that go deeper than friendship. It was obvious to everyone but him, and unfortunately he didn't realize this until after you'd already started dating Jeremy."

"Why didn't he tell me? I told him how I felt. He knew..."

"Come on, you know Blaine. He would never interfere with your new relationship. You seemed happy with Jeremy and he realized his feelings too late so he resigned himself to that fact. He just watched to make sure you weren't getting hurt, and he tried to continue to be friends, but you pushed him away."

"I-I didn't...I wasn't..." Kurt's anger seemed to dissipate quickly. "I was just trying to get over him. God Wes, all I wanted was for him to like me like that, but he said he didn't. I-I...now I've lost him..." The tears began anew as he trailed off.

"You didn't lose him." The sincerity in his voice caused Kurt to look up. "I promise, you didn't lose him." He repeated. "Now come on." He stood up and held his hand out to help Kurt up. "You two need to have a conversation."

Kurt took Wes's hand and allowed him to lead him back to Blaine's room.


	6. The Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of the journey. I hope you all enjoyed the ride!

Wes kept ahold of Kurt's hand, afraid he'd run if he let go, and literally pulled him through the door of Blaine's room moments later. Blaine and David both looked up and their talking ceased immediately. Wes led Kurt to an empty chair and pushed him to sit.

The silence was awkward with all four boys looking back and forth at one another, until Wes finally broke the tension. "Come on David. Let's go get coffee and let these boys talk." And with that, they were gone, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone.

Kurt hadn't moved since Wes shoved him into the chair but he began to pick at his nails out of nervousness, afraid to speak. He wanted so much to lift his head and look at Blaine, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It pained him to know that the boy he loved was lying in the hospital bed because of him.

The only sound in the room was Blaine's heart monitor, which had sped up a little when Wes and Kurt returned to the room, but had since calmed down. Blaine didn't want to give the nurse a reason to come back. He knew he and Kurt needed to talk, but right now, he was just happy to lay back and look at Kurt. He was sure after their confrontation yesterday that Kurt wouldn't come to see him. But Wes reassured Blaine that not only did Kurt want to see him, but that he'd been there last night and was worried.

As much as Blaine wanted to believe that, he couldn't. Not after what Kurt had said yesterday. He knew now, beyond the shadow of a doubt that Kurt didn't like him like that anymore and it was his own fault. He'd been too afraid and stupid to see what he had and now he'd lost it forever. But Blaine really hoped that since Kurt was actually here that they could at least be friends again. He just wanted Kurt in his life. He needed Kurt in his life.

Blaine didn't know what to say, but he knew he needed to apologize. Instead what came out was "You're here."

The surprise and anguish Kurt heard in Blaine's voice at that moment twisted something within him and made him look up at his best friend. The moment their eyes met both boys took a deep breath, as if it was the first real breath either had taken in days.

Kurt sat still, just taking Blaine in. It took everything in him to remain seated, when all he wanted to do was go to him and touch him, make sure he was really ok. He allowed himself to really look at Blaine then, seeing his bruised and swollen eye, a cut on his cheek, and a small one on his lip. Even though he'd been sedated through the night, the residual effects from his lack of sleep previously were still evident on his face, and he was pale from the surgery.

Kurt was at a loss. He knew he needed to speak, but how did you apologize to your best friend when you were the reason he almost died? And what could he possible say after yesterday? He was surprised Blaine even wanted him in the same room. But, he'd written the note yesterday after their falling out, and Blaine said he loved him, so maybe there was hope.

Kurt realized he still hadn't spoken when he saw Blaine's eyes well up, his gaze questioning. "I am." Kurt whispered, afraid to break the silence. "I-I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me though, after..." He stopped, looking away, unable to see Blaine's face when he tells him to leave.

"Of course I want you here, but I'm surprised you want to be here." Blaine said.

Kurt looked up again and saw tears running down Blaine's face and he broke, moving forward toward the bed and reached out, taking Blaine's hand in his.

"God Blaine, I am so s-sorry." He said, trying but failing to hold back a sob. "I was such an asshole. All those terrible things I said to you, and I believed everything Jeremy said, and I should have talked to you and you almost died and it was all my fault and..." He was speaking fast and crying so hard, Blaine was having a hard time understanding.

"Kurt stop." Blaine said forcefully, squeezing his hand to get his attention. Kurt stopped talking but continued to sob almost uncontrollably, until Blaine pulled his hand, making him sit on the bed. Blaine brought his other hand up to Kurt's face and cupped his cheek in an effort to calm him down. "Hey, it's ok." He said quietly.

As soon as Blaine's hand touched Kurt's face he felt calmer and his breathing evened out. "Sorry." He apologized for his breakdown. "Really, I'm sorry about everything." Kurt pulled his hand from Blaine's grasp and took his hand off his cheek, laying it on the bed before standing up and putting some distance between himself and Blaine. He had to in order to say what needed to be said.

"Kurt.."

"No, Blaine, please let me talk, ok?" Blaine nodded and Kurt continued. "All of this" He motioned with his hand, "it is my fault. I was so stupid." He turned toward the window, not wanting to look at Blaine when he said what he wanted to say next. "All I wanted was to get over you." Blaine gasped, and Kurt froze, his back still to Blaine. He could tell Blaine wanted to say something, but was waiting.

"I only started dating Jeremy to get over my feelings for you. I thought if I could find somebody who cared about me, that I could stop caring about you. Turns out, I was wrong." He turned slightly, glancing over his shoulder at Blaine. What he saw made his heart break all over again. Blaine had tears running down his face and he was covering his mouth with his hand, as if to stop himself from interrupting.

"I didn't care about Jeremy. I was using him to get over you, but the more time I spent with him, the more I missed you." His shoulders slumped and he sighed, still not allowing himself to look fully at Blaine. "Wes said I was pulling away from you, and I guess I was. I didn't do it consciously, but looking back, I see that's exactly what was happening. I was so stupid. I pulled away from the person I care about the most and all he was doing was trying to protect me." He paused and drew in a shaky breath, not realizing he'd started crying as well.

"Kurt," Blaine tried again, and Kurt turned then to glare at him, effectively stopping him from continuing.

"Mr Rein's showed me the video." At Blaine's confused look, Kurt elaborated. "His office has camera's and he showed me the video of your talk with him yesterday." Realization crossed Blaine's face then, and he looked like he wanted to speak, but Kurt shook his head. "I'm sorry." He said, the pain in his voice evident. "I'm not sure why you even wanted to see me after all the horrible things I said to you yesterday, but I want you to know, I need you to know that I didn't mean anything I said. I was angry and confused and stupid and you almost died because of me."

He lost his control then and started fully crying then, thinking about how close he'd come to losing Blaine. "I'm sorry." He cried. "All I could think of was that you might die and you'd never know how sorry I was a-and how much I loved you."

Everything seemed to stop then. Kurt gasped and covered his mouth, surprised at what he'd just admitted. He looked at Blaine then, who looked just as surprised, but he could also see a glint of happiness in his eyes.

"Y-you love me? Still?" Blaine asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

"I never stopped." Kurt said quietly.

Blaine lifted his hand and motioned Kurt over. He moved toward the bed slowly, before sitting down and taking Blaine's outstretched hand in his once again.

"Oh Kurt, I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that." Blaine breathed a sigh of relief both at the fact that Kurt still loved him and that Kurt had come back and was holding his hand again. "I have to apologize too, though."

Kurt shook his head. "No, you have nothing to apologize for."

"Yes I do." Blaine countered. "I was stupid too, and I hurt you. I think I have always had feelings for you, but as I told you, I had never been in a relationship and was obviously not in touch with my feelings, even after you told me yours, I was still in the dark. It took me seeing you happy with someone else to realize how much I cared, and by then it was too late."

"But it wasn't." Kurt said. "If you'd just said something..."

"I couldn't. I was not about to get in the way of your happiness."

"But I wasn't happy. Not really. I didn't want him, I wanted you." Kurt said adamantly.

"I-I realize that now, but at the time, it seemed like I'd waited too long and lost you. Then yesterday..." Fresh tears began to slide down Blaine's face when he recalled their conversation again.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine." Kurt said again, allowing more tears to come to him too.

"When I thought I'd lost you as a friend too...God Kurt, I don't think I've ever felt pain like that." His grip on Kurt's hand increased, afraid Kurt would pull back again.

"I found your letter." Blaine looked at him confused, before understanding crossed his face. "Is it true? Do you really love me?"

Blaine smiled then, for the first time since Kurt came into the room. "Yes, it's true."

Kurt smiled a tentative smile back and whispered. "Say it."

"I love you." He paused. "I love you. I love you. I am so in love with you. God, it feels good to finally say it out loud. And to you. I love..." His last declaration was cut off by Kurt's lips on his own. He flinched a little because of the cut on his lip, but when Kurt tried to pull back, he grabbed the back of his neck and held him in place, not ready to give up the feel of Kurt's lips on his.

When they did finally pull back, both boys were grinning. "I love you too." Kurt said, and leaned back in for another kiss. Pulling back, Kurt lifted Blaine's hand and kissed his knuckles and whispered, "Thank you." Blaine lifted his eyebrows in question. "For defending me. If you hadn't...who knows what would have happened, and I...just thank you."

"Kurt, I'll always he there for you. I love you." He said smiling.

"Wow, I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that." Kurt said, smiling back.

"Good, because I plan to tell you all the time."

"You better, because I plan to tell you too, everyday."

"Tell him what?" Came a voice from the doorway. Both boys turned to see David and Wes standing there, looking pleased to see the two of them holding hands and smiling.

"That I love him." Kurt answered, unashamed.

"Hey, I was going to say that." Blaine whined.

"Sorry baby, you are always going to be one step behind me." Kurt teased.

"I'm sure he doesn't mind that," David said. "It just means he can enjoy the view."

"And what a beautiful view it is." Blaine agreed, loving the blush that crept up Kurt's face at his comment.

"Alright, alright." Wes said, changing the subject. "I'm assuming you two worked everything out then?" He asked, watching both boys look at each other and smile. "Good, because Blaine is going to need someone to stay with him while he's recovering and I already cleared it with the Dean, so I'm hoping you'll be that person Kurt."

Kurt looked at Blaine and asked with his eyes and Blaine nodded. "Of course Wes, I'll be happy to take care of Blaine while he's recovering." He said, adding quietly, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Wes smiled. "Great! David and I can help you move some of your stuff over tonight. You still have to attend classes, but the Dean said you can do your work from your room for the first couple of days, as long as you turn it in by the end of the day. And Blaine, if you are up to it, you can do some of the work with Kurt so you don't get too far behind."

Blaine looked at Wes then and smiled. "Thanks man." He said.

"No problem."

"Seriously. You didn't have to step up like you did. Becoming my legal guardian, helping out with my care once I'm out of here, and most importantly, helping bring Kurt and I together. I owe you, big time."

"You don't owe me anything. I'm happy to help, and I'm so glad you two morons finally got your heads out of your asses." The other three boys in the room went silent, surprised at Wes's words. "Oh come on, it's not like we all weren't thinking it." He said and David laughed and nodded his head. "Come on David, let's leave these two lovebirds alone. We'll be back around dinner. Why don't you both try to get some sleep. You look like shit."

Kurt and Blaine were still laughing when David and Wes left and the nurse returned to give Blaine his pain medicine. With Kurt there, Blaine had hardly noticed his pain, but once the nurse injected the medicine into his IV, Blaine felt his body relax and he looked at his...wait, what was he? Were they boyfriends?

"Are we boyfriends?" He asked, the pain medicine loosening more than his body.

Kurt smiled. "I hope so." He said cheekily. "I don't go around kissing just anyone."

"You'd better not." He smiled. "Hey, are you wearing my sweatshirt?" He asked suddenly and Kurt stilled.

"Yeah, is that ok? I went into your room last night to be closer to you and it smelled like you, so..."

Blaine smiled the biggest smile Kurt had ever seen and he replied. "It's more than ok. I like to see my boyfriend in my clothes. Mmmm..." His voice was slurring a little by this time and he slowly scooted over in the bed pulling Kurt forward. "Now you can be close to me for real."

Kurt hesitated for a moment, not wanting to hurt Blaine, but Blaine was insistent and kept pulling him down, so he gave in and lay down on his side, resting his head on Blaine's chest, just over his heart, and carefully slid his arm over his chest, well above his stomach where he'd had surgery.

Blaine sighed happily and kissed Kurt's head, whispering "I love you."

"I love you too." Kurt answered back, allowing Blaine's heartbeat to lull him to sleep.


End file.
